New study finds unexpected key to helping bullied girls

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

One of the many heartbreaking moments in the documentary Bully was when Alex – after enduring endless torment on the bus and in the halls at school – comes home to his parents (who I’m sure wanted to help but didn’t know how) almost mocking him for being bullied.

Middle childhood (think 10 years old) is a critical stage in a child’s identity development. On the downside, mental disorders and psychological issues often emerge around this age. On the upside, research has identified “protective factors” that can boost a 10-year-old's emotional well-being and healthy development – including your child’s relationship with… you!

So reports a new study published this month in the Journal of Happiness Studies. Researchers set out to better understand the effects of bullying in 10-year-olds. Building on previous research that shows bullying can lead to increased anxiety and symptoms of depression, this study found a four-way interaction between bullying, gender (girls), relationships with adults, and friendship with peers: “victimization [is] particularly strongly associated with low life satisfaction, low self-esteem, and high depressive symptoms for girls with low self-reports of peer and adult connectedness,” write the five co-authors of the article “A Population Study of Victimization, Relationships, and Well-Being in Middle Childhood.”

Bullying rates among 10-year-olds

The researchers found that about half the kids reported at least one instance of bullying in the past year. About 1 in 7 girls and about 1 in 6 boys – all 10-year-olds – report being bullied several times per week. For girls, bullying primarily took the form of social victimization, followed closely by verbal abuse, then physical abuse, with far fewer instances of cyberbullying. For boys, social and verbal victimization were the most prevalent, followed by physical abuse, with far fewer reports of cyberbullying. These findings are concerning for many reasons – not the least of which is the association between being bullied and developing low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and low levels of life satisfaction.

However, this study – featured in a journal devoted to Happiness Studies – breaks ground by finding an association between “protective factors” and mitigating the effects of bullying. “Some of the most powerful factors are of social nature:  Positive social relationships with adults and peers are strongly associated with children’s resilience, well-being, health, and competence,” the researchers write. They warn that protective factors don’t necessarily counteract the negative effects of being bullied, but the evidence shows that – especially for girls – social support from adults and peers may buffer them. Unfortunately, this moderating effect wasn’t found for boys, so further research is needed to determine what may have a buffering affect for boys.

How you can buffer the effects of bullying

So what’s in this secret sauce to create a connection between you and your 10-year-old? Among the questions the 10-year-olds answered: “Does a parent or some other grown-up at home listen when you have something to say?” “Does a parent or some other grown-up at home believe that you can do a good job?” “Does a parent or some other grown-up at home want you to do your best?” Even if the study doesn’t prove these parental efforts are equally effective for boys, I can’t help but think that Alex would have benefitted, in a large or small way, if he'd been able to answer, Yes, Yes, and Yes. 

Electioneering at your kitchen table: what are you teaching the kids?

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

Raise your hand if you can explain the electoral college to your curious 7-year-old.

We tried this at our GreatSchools laboratory (aka on our own children at home) and quickly figured out how tough it was.  

How do you teach your kids about something you don’t understand all that well yourself? That’s where we aimed to help. Keeping in mind that we want kids to be engaged, not glazed, we envision great fun and election education all wrapped up in a series of activities that would work for a range of kids (and might even teach us grown ups a thing or two.)

A virtual scavenger hunt!

Back at the drawing board, we mapped a plan to create something fun and useful.  Entertaining and educational.

Here’s what we did:

• Because kids think paperwork is fascinating and fun, we let them register to vote.
• Because there really are words your child needs to learn, we made a fill-in-the-blanks story.
• Because we think all kids should think about being president if that’s their dream, we have silly speech-writing, creative poster-making, and inspirational White House design activities.

And because the best way to understand something is to do it yourself, we include a ballot so your child can vote.

How you use these materials is up to you. But try the activities with your child, share them with your child’s teacher, and tell us whether you think we helped turn your curious grade schooler into a well-informed, thoughtful, future voter. 

Download the election booklet here or see it here.

She was picked as a joke – but the joke’s on them

Photo by Robynlou8

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

No matter how (un)popular you were in high school, Whitney Kropp’s story hits home.

Imagine this: she’s sitting in math class as the homecoming court is announced over the PA system. She’s surprised – and thrilled - when she hears her name in the homecoming line up.

"She's just sweet. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body," Whitney’s mom, Bernice Kropp, told The Detroit News (as reported in a wonderful article, “Town turns tables on school prank”).

But the surprise quickly turned into a nightmare: it turns out that Whitney was picked as a joke. The 16-year-old found out, via Facebook and word of mouth, that “popular” kids put her name in the running as a prank. Hysterical:  an unpopular girl in the homecoming court! Right?

Wrong. But what makes this act of bullying different is that it wasn’t hushed up or ignored. Covering up incidents of bullying ostensibly protects the victim, but it can also send the message that the bullying target is somehow at fault; it also lets the bullies off the hook.  But that’s not what happened in this case. Instead, Whitney’s sister told her friends, who told their parents, who told their friends, The Detroit News reported.

Word spread and people rallied around Whitney in support. Someone created a Facebook page in support of Whitney, and it has more likes than the rural Michigan town has residents. Local business owners are donating their specialties so Whitney will have her hair and nails done, new shoes and a gown, a nice dinner, and even a tiara to wear. But it doesn’t stop there: Friday night’s game promises to be packed with residents wearing orange “Team Whitney” t-shirts.

The overwhelming support is heartwarming, and the outright rejection of 1980s John Hughes-esque high school meanness is inspiring. I love how this town has turned the tables on these small-minded bullies; this kind of community support is what could finally put an end to bullying once and for all.

Do you think this could happen in your town?

Read the article here and support Whitney on Facebook here.

Want more tools to combat bullying? Read our articles:

• 12 bullying myths 
• Signs your child is being bullied (video) 
• Two moms fight back 

Study maybe?

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

Okay, okay, maybe you’re a little sick of “Call Me Maybe” parodies. After all, everyone from President Obama (disclosure: the President did not make this video) to the U.S. Olympic Swim Team and the Harvard baseball team have entertaining takes on Carly Rae Jepson’s hit. But I love this version, called “Study Maybe,” by teachers at a Florida high school taking a break as they ramp up for the new school year. Here are three reasons why it’s so great:

1)      These teachers really parodied the song (trust teachers to stay true to the definition of parody) – adding their own revised lyrics. The new chorus is, “But I’m your teacher, so study maybe,” followed by gems such as “When I push you, you may hate me,” and “It’s hard to pass class when you’re lazy.”

2)      Studying is a tough topic. It’s boring and, as parents know too well, it’s hard to talk about without nagging or lecturing, much less sing about. This video takes a fresh look at the topic and makes it funny (Just look at those teachers dance!) and catchy; it provides an entrée into a conversation that parents need to have with their kids now and all year long. If you can make this conversation fun now, maybe you can change your household’s tune about studying throughout the school year.

3)      Seriously, the teachers sing and dance!

See what you think…

Can’t see the video? You can also watch it on YouTube.

Confession of a crammer

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

Cramming was the secret to my school success, the bread and butter of my academic career, one of the few things I did really well from a young age. I would study and do my homework, of course, but the lion’s share of my effort was always the night before. Was sleep sacrificed? Oh, yes. But I was a firm believer in the power of sleep banking: I always made up for my lost zzz’s on the weekends.

So there's a bit of payback in the news released by my alma mater this week: research findings that show my study methods were total hooey based on rationalization, not reason. In fact, if I’m anything like the kids in a new study called “To Study or to Sleep? The Academic Costs of Extra Studying at the Expense of Sleep” by UCLA researchers (published in Child Development), then my last minute, stay-up-all-night approach to studying probably created more academic problems than it solved.

For the study, researchers asked 9th, 10th, and 12th graders to complete daily diaries for two weeks documenting their study time, sleep time, and academic functioning, and the results were clear: sacrificing sleep for study time takes a toll on learning and academic performance.

But if you’re raising a hard-working, college-bound student, it can be hard to get her to close the books and go to sleep. (Just ask my mom.) The struggle over sleep goes on in households across America – and a new school year is the perfect time to instill new habits. So here’s a little wisdom to back you up next time you want your tween or teen to turn out the lights (all quotes are from the UCLA study).

Study time is likely controlling your child’s sleep time

“Study time is one of the most significant determinants of high school students’ sleep time, more so than time spent with friends or family or time spent using media.” Sharing this info may backfire when you’re trying to limit screen time, but I’ll bet this nugget sticks with your child.

Staying up to study may be hurting, not helping

“Thus, our results suggest that regardless of whether or not students had a test, study time became increasingly associated with academic problems such that, by 10th grade, nights with longer than average study times tended to be followed by days with more academic problems.”

The 8 hour a night myth (Hint: 8 hours isn't enough)

“In high school, sacrificing sleep to study may be especially problematic because, in general, high school age adolescents are chronically sleep deprived… the vast majority of high school students (62%) get insufficient sleep… In 9th grade, the average adolescent sleeps for 7.6 hr per night, and this time decreases to 7.3 hr in 10th grade, 7.0 hr in 11th grade, and 6.9 hr in 12th grade” So it’s building over time – and wreaking havoc on your child’s learning abilities. Part of the problem is the amount of sleep kids need is constantly misstated (check out the chart below). According to the National Sleep Foundation, 8 hours may not even be enough for adults – and it’s definitely not enough for a school-aged child.

As for my sleep banking theory, the researchers make it clear that it doesn't work:, “other studies have demonstrated that even beyond total amounts of sleep, irregular sleep schedules are associated with lower academic performance.”

Time management to the rescue

So what’s the answer?  If there are too many demands on your high schoolers' time, don’t let it affect their sleep, researchers say. Instead, encourage your child find ways to use school time more effectively, watch less TV, and take a hard look at extracurriculars.

And when it comes to studying for a test, students should do a consistent, manageable amount of studying every night and then go to bed at a reasonable hour. “In and of itself, this is a generally effective study strategy—experimental research has demonstrated that spacing study time evenly across a number of days results in better academic performance than studying in one massed session, even if the total amount of study time is the same.”  

In other words: no cramming!

A White House first: Kids’ State Dinner

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

Instead of black ties, crown jewels, and performances by the National Symphony, Monday’s state dinner was filled with bright colors, balloon animals, and kids’ TV stars. But the real stars were everyday kids ages 8 to 12 from across the country who beat out more than 1,100 competitors to win a seat at the first ever Kids’ State Dinner. Hosted by Michelle Obama, the event honored 54 budding chefs for creating healthy, delicious, award-winning recipes. (Check out the pictures!)

As part of the First Lady’s “Let’s Move” campaign, children were invited to submit healthy recipes – and the entries poured in. A single winner was picked from each state – and three winning dishes were prepared by White House chefs and served at the dinner. First up, Quinoa, Black Bean, and Corn Salad created by Arizona’s winner, 12-year-old Haile Thomas. The main course, cooked up by 12-year-old Rori Coyne of Kansas, was Yummy Cabbage Sloppy Joes. And for dessert? Strawberryanna Smoothies blended by Hawaii’s 11-year-old winner Stefani Shimomura-Sakamoto.

A big theme of the event (and the First Lady’s campaign) is getting kids involved in food choice and prep – from gardening to meal planning to cooking. At the dinner, the First Lady told the kids, “you guys are old hands, though, you guys are always in the kitchen. Well, you are going to inspire some kids to get in the kitchen.” And she just may be right. Epicurious has created a cookbook of the winners’ recipes and you can browse all the winning dishes online, too.

The President himself dropped by to congratulate the winners and let them know he was proud of them. Coming up with “recipes that are healthy and tasty, and to do it in a way that helps to contribute to spreading the word about healthy eating among your peers – that’s a really big deal," he told them.

In a video about judging the entries, chef Jose Andres said each dish needed to pass three tests: first, it had to look appetizing (unappealing brown mush was not going to cut it, no matter how nutritious it may be); second, it had to smell enticing (sorry, smelly cheese); and last but not least, it had to taste delicious (bad taste ≠ good for inspiring healthy eating). What he didn’t mention was that each of the winning recipes is packed with nutrients and all tend to be simple, to boot.

So, are you inspired to try making these dishes at home with your kids? Personally, I’m inspired to make Stuffed Zucchini Boats (by Haley Matthews, age 12, from Georgia) and Barbecue Cheddar Chickpea Burgers (by 9-year-old Finwe Wiedenhoeft of Wisconsin). And I’d like to hand it to Florida’s winner, Deborah Goncalves, age 12, whose flair for marketing and cooking (her dish is called “Triple F”: Fake Fast Food) will undoubtedly take her far. 

5 signs that teens today value their education

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

Good news! Recent data from the 2012-2013 State of our Nation’s Youth report shows that high schoolers today are more Hermione (the brilliant, diligent student in the Harry Potter series), less Puck (Glee's  bad boy): they like school, do their homework, and value learning.

Here are five signs that teens have a positive attitude about their education:

#1: Students give their schools higher grades

Teens live in a grade-obsessed world and they’re intimately familiar with the A through F rating scale. So when they’re asked to turn the tables and grade their schools, we can expect astute – if harsh – assessments.  And that has been true for years. From 2001 to 2008, only about 20 percent of teens were willing to give their schools an A. This year, though, a third of students surveyed gave their school an A. Private school students expressed even more educational satisfaction: 60 percent gave their school an A.

But students didn't pass out easy A's or engage in grade inflation: many said their schools needed improvement. Survey findings show that African American students and students from households with below-average incomes are much less likely to give their schools an A (19 percent and 18 percent, respectively).

#2:  Students place the most value on teachers and college prep 

Have you asked a teen lately for his opinion on academics? His answers may surprise you. According to survey findings, today's teens say the top two assets for a quality education are skilled teachers (25 percent) and college prep work (25 percent). Next up? The variety of high-quality courses offered (19 percent).

Not to knock the football team, but only six percent said athletic programs are the number one asset at their school. Score one for academics!

#3: More students are earning A’s

Yes, I mentioned this in my previous blog on about the Great Recession's effect on kids, but it bears repeating because it's wonderful progress. Just five years ago, a quarter of students reported earning mostly A’s; today, that figure shot up to an impressive 37 percent. Hand in hand with this uptick in achievement is a significant decrease in the number of students earning a mix of B’s and C’s: 13 percent now versus 22 percent in 2008.

#4: Students are getting involved in campus-based clubs

The vast majority of students – 76 percent – report participating in student clubs or groups. And they’re not just putting their name on a list and heading for the door.  About a fifth of students surveyed say they participate in student clubs daily; another 39 percent participate weekly. About a quarter of these students are involved in student government and roughly seven percent work on their school’s newspaper.

#5: Teens’ advice for peers emphasizes working hard, not playing hard

When it’s all said and done, the words of wisdom teens have for their younger friends focus on solid academics: 27 percent counsel others to spend more time studying, 21 percent advise against skipping class, and 13 percent sing the praises of doing homework. Perhaps most astonishing, 12 percent caution peers to keep out of trouble and avoid drinking, drugs, and too much partying.

What did the recession do to kids? We’re only starting to find out.

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

My paternal grandparents’ best and worst qualities have always been attributed to growing up during the depression. Their families struggled, and the kids pitched in. These hard times were like a badge of honor: it’s why they were so frugal, so hardworking, so determined. And with time, it becomes almost a joke – like walking through snowstorms to and from school, uphill both ways.

But the Great Recession is no laughing matter. Poverty hit an all-time high in 2010, after four straight years of increases, with 46.9 million people living in poverty. As of 2010, 17.2 million U.S. households, which is approximately one in seven, were food insecure. That’s the highest number ever in the U.S. (at least so far). In one percent of households with children, kids suffered the USDA’s worst hunger rating, “very low food security,” meaning meals were irregular and inadequate. Many of our numbers and stats lag, so we’ll keep finding out – over time – just how bad it is. And we’re learning, one story after another, the devastating effect of unemployment, underemployment, and financial hardship on kids’ day-to-day lives.  

Old enough to know, too young to do anything

While we know the infrastructure has suffered, it’s not often that we get to see data on how kids’ attitudes and outlooks have been affected. So I was excited to get a copy of the State of our Nation’s Youth 2012-2013 report from the Horatio Alger Association because it compares kids’ responses to questions ranging from education and family life to politics and aspirations in 2008 and now. Sure, it’s only a sample size of 1,500 kids, but they ask interesting questions of kids ages 14 to 23, garnering and comparing perspectives of high school students and graduates. The organization’s goal is to “recognize and celebrate successful Americans who overcome adversity through hard work and persistence,” and that couldn’t be more relevant. These kids were 9 to 18 in 2008, so they’re likely to have been old enough to be highly aware of their families’ circumstances and attuned to the hardships, yet too young to feel empowered to make things better. So this special slice of America’s youth is primed, I think, to carry the negative effects of the Great Recession with them. Viewed through this lens, here are two telling themes that stood out to me.

Even for kids, it's the economy

Sure, it’s an election year, and it’s a key issue at the polls, but the data shows that kids aren’t as interested in the outcome of the presidential election as their cohort was in 2008 (57% now, 75% in 2008). Instead, the economy and money are highly concerning to kids, with high school graduates expressing worries over their personal finances (28% major concern, 35% minor concern) and pressure to help support their families (18% major concern, 29% minor concern). Can you remember your high school-level of concern and understanding of the economy and personal finance? For me, understanding fiscal policy, real wages, and economic growth took college-level courses and work experience that resulted in an official paycheck (not, say, under-the-table babysitting cash). For kids to have moved beyond the tangible (our next president) to prioritize the oft-mind-boggling abstraction that is our economy is a huge shift in mindset. These stats underscore the fact that these kids have been scarred by growing up with relentless financial worries.

Some kids are harder hit than others

The financial worries are worst for kids who come from families with below-average incomes: they’re doubly concerned about personal finances (39% vs. 18%), the pressure to contribute financially at home (25% vs. 13%), and adequate healthcare (25% vs. 14%). Also, as a group, Hispanic youth are even more stressed than other kids their age: they’re more likely to report major or minor concerns over health/adequate healthcare (55% versus 41%), their safety (44% vs. 34%), pressure to pitch in financially at home (52% vs. 40%), and family problems (50% vs. 40%). As a result, there’s reason to believe that many kids’ perception of security – both financial and personal safety – is dangerously low.

A silver lining

These findings back up many of the concerns I’ve had about the recession’s effect on kids over the last five years, but there are also stats that give me hope. I like to see, for instance, that kids are getting better grades (37% report getting mostly A’s, that’s up 13 percentage points since 2008) and that kids feel that through hard work they can control their futures (96%). That’s quite positive. So, too, are the findings that this group values helping others (77%) and spending time with their families (daily family time was reported by 86% of high school students and 68% of high school graduates) – and that so many kids value their moms so highly (80% of kids chose a family member as their most essential relationship, of those 47% specified their mom).

These stats are more than a silver lining, they’re highly promising. But they don’t allay my concerns about what the recession has done to kids. How about you?

 

Why student loan interest rates should be capped

 

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

There are a few crucial moments in life when I’ve wished someone – my sister, a friend, even a magazine article – would’ve warned me about the bumpy road ahead. Like how difficult it can be to leave college and join the working world. Or how much I’d freak out about turning 30.

But now it’s my turn to help. I’ve traveled the bumpy road of student loans since 1998. And the road has only become bumpier. My journalism school loans are all I have left – but they’re the worst ones yet.

Why is this pertinent? Because no one seems to really understand the hullabaloo over Pell grants and the congressional vote that will decide the fate of interest rates for new subsidized Stafford loans for 2012-2013 – but GreatSchools parents are exactly the people that need to get this. Whatever happens, it won’t help me. I am among the masses making up that trillion dollars in student loan debt. And my Stafford loan interest rates, both subsidized and unsubsidized, are already at 6.8% – as they always have been.

The problem is, people like me, who are sweating their student loan payments (I pay $1,000 per month), are highly attuned to this news. But I think we’re the only ones reading it. And make no mistake: if your child’s in 3rd-12th grade, you’re the ones who should care, because any real change will take time to enact and will likely start with the impending vote over subsidized Stafford loan interest rates for 2012-2013. Your family stands to benefit – or not.

Student loan debt adds up

Here’s my simple breakdown so you can decide for yourself:

            • Average college tuition, room, and board in 2009–10 was $12,804 (public) and $32,184 (private) per year. Using the public school average, four years of public college is $51,216. (Read about many kids taking up to 6 years to graduate due to required remedial classes.)

            • Pell grants aren’t available to everyone and max out at $5,550 per year (proposed increase for 2012-2013 is $5,855). The average grant for 2011-2012, however, was $3,984. Best case scenario, your kid gets the max each year, and is still on the hook for $27,796.

            • Subsidized Stafford loans: you can get a total of $23,000 over the course of your college education, but it’s not just given to you all at once. It’s capped each year at $3,500 for freshmen, $4,500 for sophomores, and $5,500 each subsequent year till you hit the cap of $23,000. In this scenario, that’s $19,000 in subsidized loans. Plus the remaining balance of $8,796 that’ll have to be covered, too, most likely with loans with less attractive interest rates (and typically terms, too).

Focus on student loan interest rates

Around that first bullet point, many people’s eyes glaze over. But the difference between what your child will pay on that $19K with interest rates at 3.4% and 6.8% is huge. At 3.4% interest for 10 years, it’s an extra $3,439.33; but at 6.8% it’s an additional $7,238.32. Just in interest.

In my opinion, all student loans – whether they’re subsidized or not – should have interest rate caps. Here’s why: student loans can’t be dispensed in bankruptcy and lenders are basically guaranteed to get their money back from the U.S. government. So the lenders still come out on top, just not quite as high, and higher education would be more affordable. So why isn’t Congress enacting caps on interest rates for all student loans?

Probably because being a student lender is very good business, and they aim to keep it that way. Some fun facts about the top five student lenders: Sallie Mae, Wells Fargo, Discover, Nelnet, and JPMorgan Chase, as reported by AlterNet’s Sarah Jaffe. Discover’s vice president for U.S. cards told the crowd at a student lending conference, "We really like this business…” What’s not to like? They are doing quite well on student loans. In 2008, Sallie Mae’s CEO Albert Lord received $4.7 million in total compensation. Apparently, he built himself a private golf course. Nelnet services $44.6 billion in student loans for 3 million borrowers. Their cut? $12.8 million in a single quarter. To keep themselves in this lucrative business, the big lenders spend a lot on lobbying. JPMorgan Chase, for example, spent $5.8 million on lobbyists in a single year. Against that kind of lobbying, it’ll be hard to make things change.

In the meantime the first serious step toward widespread reform involves capping the subsidized Stafford loan and saving at least some of your child's future earnings. President Obama’s been trying to get people’s attention; he’s even pulling out his lounge act. He “slow jammed the news” on Jimmy Kimmel (worth watching, embedded below) to try to raise awareness.

In the end helping kids pay for college isn't a hand out. It's good for all of us. Research from Georgetown University shows that by 2018, 60% of jobs will require postsecondary education. According to research by GreatSchools board member Eric Hanushek, educational attainment in the U.S. is directly related to our GDP – and as cognitive skills and education levels go up, so will the GDP. If that's not a compelling equation for change, I don't know what is.

Just in time for Father’s Day: why dad’s love matters so much

By Jessica Kelmon, Associate Editor

Fatherly love is critical to a child's development. In fact, it’s one of the single greatest influences. What’s more, a father's love sometimes outweighs a mother's in terms of child development. These are just a few of the findings from a September 2011 study published last month in Personality and Social Psychology Review.

“It’s not that mothers aren’t important – they are – no one would ever argue that they aren’t,” study co-author Professor Ronald P. Rohner is quick to point out, but in his long-term research on acceptance-rejection theory across 13 nations, he’s uncovered some interesting news about a father's parenting role.

For one, when fathers act as nurturing (primary or secondary) caregivers, their kids benefit in terms of social-emotional and cognitive development, according to Rohner. Does this seem obvious? It’s not, he insists.

For about 300 years now in the U.S. and the western world, we’ve collectively assumed that kids mainly need a loving mom for positive child development. In just the past 10 years, though, we’ve learned that mindset is fundamentally wrong, Rohner says. “Dads have as great or greater influence in a variety of contexts,” he says, “so we need to encourage dads to get involved in caring for their kids in a loving way. …  And we need to encourage moms to let dads play that role.”

What’s more, young adults who remember feeling accepted by their dads show a greater sense of well-being, and a greater sense of satisfaction and happiness than those who remember acceptance by their mothers, Rohner says.

Rohner’s research centers mainly on parental acceptance-rejection theory – and hinges on a child’s perception of each parent’s actions in four areas: warmth and affection, hostility and aggression, indifference and neglect, and the child’s general sense of being loved.

Across cultures, national boundaries, and families, these four areas have proven important in children’s perception of their parents’ affection, he says, and translates to a cluster of seven personality and behavior traits – either positive or negative – in the kids. If a child rates his parent positively, then he’s likely to show low hostility and aggression; independence; positive self-esteem; positive self-adequacy; emotional stability; emotional responsiveness; and a positive worldview. If that child rates his parent as cold, aggressive, indifferent, and generally unloving, though, then the opposite of those seven traits tend to surface, with the child exhibiting increased anxiety, insecurity, hostility, and anger; less emotional stability; poor self-esteem; and dependence issues.

“Everywhere in the world, kids who feel rejected by their parents tend to have mental health problems,” Rohner says. “Fathers show up more than mothers in these situations: if kids feel rejected by dad, they’re more likely to have behavior problems, delinquencies, depression and depressed affect, and substance abuse [problems].”

Results from more than 500 studies have established that, in many cases, a father’s perceived love (or lack thereof) can have greater impact than a mother's. The enduring question for Rohner has been: why? Rohner’s work with the International Father Acceptance Rejection Project, which has conducted research in 13 nations, has allowed Rohner and his colleagues to proffer an explanation. It has to do with the child’s perceived interpersonal power and prestige of each parent. Basically, if a child perceives Dad to have more interpersonal power and prestige than Mom, then Dad’s level of acceptance (or rejection) will have more sway over the child’s development. And vice-versa – Mom may be the one with higher perceived interpersonal power and prestige, and then the child’s perceived acceptance (or rejection) from Mom will have more influence. Could other factors play a part as well? Absolutely, says Rohner. His research continues.

But armed with this info, Rohner says there are a few important takeaways for parents. First, a child’s misbehavior shouldn't automatically be attributed to the mother's parenting, he says, warning that there’s way too much “mother bashing” in the world today. In many cases, a second look at the father's parenting may be in order.

Second, if parents notice the cluster of seven negative traits in their child, it’s worth investigating. “If parents see that in their kids,” he says, “the odds are that their kids are experiencing some significant rejection in some context. … And kids can very often tell you about it if you ask in the right way.”

But most important is the good news: that dad’s love matters. “Bottom line,” he says: “Dads, get involved. Get involved in a loving way in caregiving for your kids if you want to maximize the likelihood of healthy social-emotional and cognitive development of your children.”